Seven-year-olds, Gremlins and Santa Claus (or How I Learned to Pre-Screen All Films)

So, I'm looking for a non-traditional Christmas movie to show my seven-year-old son and remember one of my favorite movies from my youth Gremlins.

Gremlins is of course the 1984 fantasy comedy about what happens when the recipient of a small creature fails to observe three seemingly innocuous rules. Chaos ensues as the town is overrun by Gremlins. The entire story takes place during Christmas time in a small town.

So, Devin and I are watching the film and I, having not seen the movie for many years, am remembering scenes as they come up and giggling to myself as I realize how much fun Devin is going to have with each moment of increasing mayhem.

But...

There is a scene late in the movie when Phoebe Cates explains to Zach Galligan why she hates Christmas. I instantly remember that she is about to describe in vivid detail how her father sought to surprise her by dressing as Santa and climbing down the chimney (note to fathers out there: this is a fundamentally stupid idea; fathers are capable of stupid things, but we are talking Darwin award here). The father becomes stuck, DIES, and then is found by his daughter when she tries to start a fire (again, I don't usually allow my own children to start fires in the house, but...).

Luckily, I remember this just before it happens and choose that moment to ask my son about his day. The scene seemingly ends and my son has heard none of it. Then Phoebe Cates offers this coda:

"And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus."

My jaw drops. My son turns to me with this curious look and says...

"Wait a minute...."

I hold my breath for the inevitable question.

"...there's no Santa Claus..."

I have crushed a little boy's sense of wonder...

"...in this movie?"

I pause.

"I guess not. This movie must not have a Santa Claus. Isn't that weird?"

"Yeah, that's really weird."

Note to parents: Let this be a cautionary tale. Always prescreen your movies. Even if you've seen it before. You may also want to read the screenplay and interview the director if possible.

Pop by and Watch

What are we watching tonight?

How I Met Your Mother - Will Ted finally meet his future wife? Is Robin pregnant with Barney's baby? Does Lily get paid by the episode or by the minute (if it's by the minute, she needs a fundraiser)? Will we see the goat? Tonight's episode will be legen-wait for it-dary.

24 - Will Jack Bauer lay the smack down on Tony? Will Kim get herself into some ridiculous situation? Will Jack survive his illness? I'm not tuning in for the answers; I'm tuning in to figure out how they get to 'Yes.'

What to watch this summer

Last weekend saw the arrival of my second-most-anticipated of the summer. So what else has me squirming to get back into a seat with cookie dough bites and Coke?

1. Inglourious Basterds - Sorry to all the other summer flicks, but any Quentin Tarantino movie instantly pops to the top of my list. The teaser trailer for this Brad Pitt WWII film looks like more fun than we deserve during the summer. Definitely not for the kids. Trailer

2. Star Trek - I am not a Trekkie, Trekker, Trekee, whatever term they use these days. I am a big fan of JJ Abrams. Cloverfield, Alias, Lost, Fringe, Mission Impossible III, even Felicity were great. The cast here looked great and the movie is exactly what you need during the summer: lots and lots of fun.

3. Terminator: Salvation - Okay, I've been converted. The movie I was least excited about six months ago is now near the top of my list. The trailers and the cast have me sold. I still worry about McG, but it's hard to ignore the talent involved here. Trailer

4. Drag Me to Hell - Sam Raimi returns to horror? And you wonder why this is on the list? Go watch the Evil Dead trilogy. Trailer

5. Up - Is there a more reliable name in movies than Pixar right now? They put the story first, cast voice actors who embody there characters perfectly and tell tales no one else is telling. Old man sets off in his house flown by hundreds of helium balloons. What's not to love? Trailer

6. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - I hate 99% of what Michael Bay does, but Bay and Transformers go together like peanut butter and jelly. He finally has found a property uniquely suited to his fetish for army equipment and female midriffs. The sequel looks like the first cranked up to 11. Trailer

Dishonorable Mention

X-Men Origins: Wolverine - Saw this one as though I was checking something off of the to-do list. It was better than I was expecting, but I went in with zero expectation. It's a movie that basically bounces from cliche to cliche with zero sense of style. Marvel has been the second most reliable name in movies (after Pixar), but even the trailers looked meh.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - I spent a fair amount of my childhood engaged in battle in my basement between the forces of G.I. Joe and Cobra. I dropped a lot of money of Larry Hama's G.I. Joe comic books. Both experiences look much better than the trailers for Stephen Sommers flick. The Eiffel Tower scene looks good, but most other things just seem pointlessly goofy. Only saving grace? The cast actually looks pretty good here.

Comedy - There may yet be a surprise this summer, but there is nothing with a lot of buzz attached to it. I know comedy is more difficult, but where is it? Maybe Year One won't disappoint, but it looks pretty forgettable.

The end of JJ Abrams week

So Lost had it's finale this week. Star Trek came out last weekend. Two absolutely amazing events.

Let's start with Lost. The show had its best opening since Jack awoke in the forest following the plane crash. The Black Rock, the statue, Jacob and... well, whoever he was. It ends with Sayid and Juliet seemingly dying, Locke not being Locke and finally finding out what lies in the shadow of the statue. Oh, and an H-bomb detonation. I've stopped with theorizing about the show and am just enjoying the ride.

Lost remains television's grandest experiment. When they decided to put an end date on the show two seasons ago, the writing improved and every episode gives the story momentum. Many other serial television shows would have benefited from similar decisions (I'm looking in your general direction, X-Files). ABC should be commended for both taking schedule chances and seeing them pay off.

As for Star Trek, it seems like every year there is a successful franchise reboot and this is it for 2009. Abrams Star Trek is the first to combine 'thrilling' and 'fun' into the same Star Trek movie. Every actor manages to capture the original without doing an impression of them. Better yet, it's one I can see my almost seven-year-old handling. If it's not the best movie of the summer, it'll have to be in the top three.

About this blog, thing, whatever...

I am a geek, nerd, choose your own popular turn of phrase. I love movies, TV, comics, youtube, facebook, etc. I particularly love sci-fi and super heroes, though comedy, horror, and foreign films also dot my Netflix queue.

I am also a husband, father of two and state employee. I love playing with my kids, quiet evenings with the missus and trying to solve the latest budget problems at work.

This blog is where those two worlds collide. How can I watch the latest episode of Lost or Supernatural on the DVR without the scarring the kids for life? When are my kids ready for Star Wars? Lord of the Rings? Zombie movies (heh)?

Sometimes, this will be a movie review or television review. Sometimes it will be navigating the rivers of pop culture with the kids in tow. Sometimes just whatever is on my mind. Whatever happens I hope it is entertaining!